The Beatle Pilgrimage Tour

BEING A SHORT DIVERSION ON THE DUBIOUS ORIGINS OF BEATLES

Translated from the John Lennon

Once upon a time there were three little boys called John, George
and Paul, by name christened. They decided to get together because
they were the getting together type. When they were together they
wondered what for after all, what for? So all of a sudden they all
grew guitars and learned a noise. Funnily enough, no one was
interested, least of all the three little men. So-o-o-o on
discovering a fourth little even littler man called Stuart
Sutcliffe running about them they said, quote 'Sonny get a bass
guitar and you will be alright' and he did--but he wasn't alright
because he couldn't play it. So they sat on him with comfort 'til
he could play. Still there was no beat, and a kindly old aged man
said, quote 'Thou hast not drums!' We had no drums! they coffed.
So a series of drums came and went and came.

Suddenly, in Scotland, touring with Johnny Gentle, the group (the
called the Beatles called) discovered they had not a very nice
sound--because they had no amplifiers. They got some. Many people
ask what are Beatles? Why Beatles? Ugh, Beatles, how did the name
arrive? So we will tell you. It came in a vision--a man appeared
in a flaming pie and said unto them 'From this day on you are
Beatles with an A'. Thank you, Mister Man, they said, thanking
him.

And then a man with a beard cut off said--will you go to Germany
(Hamburg) and play mighty rock for the peasants for money? And we
said we would play mighty anything for money.

But before we could go we had to grow a drummer, so we grew onein
West Derby in a club called Some Casbah and his trouble was Pete
Best. We called 'Hello, Pete, come off to Germany!' 'Yes!'
Zooooom. After a few months, Peter and Paul (who is called
McArtrey, son of Jim McArtrey, his father) lit a Kino (cinema)and
the German police said 'Bad Beatles, you must go home and light
your English cinemas.' Zooooom, half a group. But even beforethis,
the Gestapo had taken my friend little George Harrison (of Speke)
away because he was only twelve and too young to vote in Germany;
but after two months in England he grew eighteen, and the Gestapoes
said 'You can come.' So suddenly all back in Liverpool Village
were many groups playing in grey suits and Jim said 'Why have you
no grey suits?' "We don't like them, Jim' we said speaking to Jim.
After playing in the clubs a bit, everyone said 'Go to Germany!'
So we are. Zooooom. Stuart gone. Zoom zoom John (of Woolton) George
(of Speke) Peter and Paul zoom zoom. All of them gone.

Thank you club members, from John and George (what are friends).

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